It was a little short & didn’t have much detail but all around a great story. It felt like you were just listing everything that happened. XXX Def would have hurt you.Anonymous readerReport 2010-06-26 06:07:11Please proof your story. It felt like you were just listing everything that happened. With not much detail. There was no flow to the story. It felt like you were just listing everything that happened. You should definitely make a part two. With not much detail. Also, think about continuity and having even a fantasy make sense.Anonymous readerReport 2010-06-25 21:42:31Pretty great story. A spell check run would have caught many errors. Def would have hurt you.Anonymous readerReport 2010-06-26 06:07:11Please proof your story. It was a little short & didn’t have much detail
