Work on your structure like others have said and and bring on #2.anonymous readerReport 2013-03-31 19:21:16Story is excellent, definitily worthy of more chapters!!! Tube8 Work on your structure like others have said and and bring on #2.anonymous readerReport 2013-03-31 19:21:16Story is excellent, definitily worthy of more chapters!!! Thanks for sharing this.anonymous readerReport 2013-03-31 19:08:28Great story. lol AH HA!anonymous readerReport 2013-04-01 01:46:49Must work on that shifting point of view. lol AH HA!anonymous readerReport 2013-04-01 01:46:49Must work on that shifting point of view. lol AH HA!anonymous readerReport 2013-04-01 01:46:49Must work on that shifting point of view. lol AH HA!anonymous readerReport 2013-04-01 01:46:49Must work on that shifting point of view. Work on your structure like others have said and and bring on #2.anonymous readerReport 2013-03-31 19:21:16Story is excellent, definitily worthy of more chapters!!!
